Life is about change

Dear Mom:

Life is about change, I know this. I ask though, how much change is a person supposed to expect? So much change has happened in the last 6 months. From the swine flu to you dying, with other nasty occurences in between. The biggest obviously is losing you in this life. I know I have memories. I know you are in my heart. That's not enough for me. I am sure this makes me selfish. I don't care. All I want is you back in this physical realm, whole and healthy. I don't know where to turn, I don't know what to do. When you died, a part of me died as well. I don't feel whole anymore. I am reading a book on grief, and it is helping, but I need someone to support me. I have no support system out here. I have no one I trust with my grief. I tried to find a grief support group, but had no luck. I will look harder. I need something else. The pain is unbearable at times. I miss and love you sooo much. It hurts Mom. You are always the person I turned to when I was in pain. Who do I turn to now?

xoxo,
Nay