Life, love and being lonely

Most people I know would say so that I am a very happy person. I enjoy my life, enjoy my kids (most of the time) and enjoy being me. Why is it then, I feel alone and lonely. Being alone and being lonely are two different things. I am okay being alone, usually. I like having my home to myself. I like doing what I want when I want to. I don't always feel lonely, but lately I do. I know a lot of people, but I don't really have any friends. I have soccer friends, work friends, but no one to call a "true" friend. No one to hang out with outside of my normal activities. I am not sure why. I do know that most married folks don't want to hang out with single gals. I am younger than most parents that have kids my age. Oddly enough, I get along with younger people pretty well. I think it is because I have a younger brother and sister. That is temporary though. I am at a different point in my life than they are. I have joined a couple of "meet-ups" to meet new people. I have yet to go to an event. I think partially I am afraid to give of myself, to let people in. My divorce has left me damaged. Now that I know that, I can work on it. I am afraid of commitment. I don't even like signing contracts for phones, satellite, etc. It makes me feel trapped. I don't like feeling trapped. Then why is it, if I don't like commitments, I want someone to share my life with me? I am a contradiction to myself.

Family!

My two sisters, having a corn eating contest.

Sorry the video is a bit shaky.

I was laughing so hard I couldn't keep the camera still!

Summer!

Summer is awesome, especially in Southern California. We not only have the beaches, but the mountains as well. Don't forget the desert, if you are into that (I am NOT!). I love the ocean, but won't swim in it (too many sharks in dem dere waters!) Just to gaze out into the never ending blue waters is amazing. I am originally from Michigan. I don't think I can ever go back, no matter how much I miss my family. I take solace in the ocean. A walk on the pier or the sand always makes my worries lessen!